That moment where you can’t sleep because of worries of the future.
Worries of the Future
4AM frustrations
So it’s been a few months since I passed the July 2011 board exams and quite frankly sometimes I feel somewhat… well, frustrated. The Nursing profession in the Philippines and it’s a big fat mess. Too many nurses, not enough jobs and so many hospitals basically treating us like trash just to cut costs.
You’d think after all the shit we went through it’d be an easy life. Nope. I probably would’ve gotten better work if I had managed to actually study some other program, but nope.
I love the field of nursing, and I sincerely believe I can do the job; but… well. It’s probably going to take a while.
To be honest, I feel slightly pressured. I want to get out of this house — this country. I want to take my chances at going somewhere more… well, liberal. A place were I won’t exactly be scrutinized for not conforming to everyone else’s conservative standards because most people won’t give a shit.
I feel that the world, my friends, my family and myself expect so much of me. Maybe even to a dangerous degree.
Part of me is scared I’ll be stuck unemployed for a while; maybe even terrified. I just want to work, you know? Actually make something of myself.
I’m frustrated that instead of earning money I keep on having to spend it just to get freakingly qualified for work that will end me being overworked and underpaid.
Well, Nurse activists are doing their best to make Nurse’s plights heard in the Senate and Congress seems to be on the way to placing some important stuff into legislature, but none the less —- how the heck do you employ hundreds of thousands of nurses?
8I I’m not exactly sure where I’m going, but definitely the pessimist in me is running on full steam. I don’t like it; I’m usually optimistic about things and I always have options to choose from, but I guess I may just have to pull some strings to get the upper hand.
No more Miss Goodie Two-Shoes, I suppose.
Still tired, but mind is too preoccupied with worries of the future to rest. LOL
TL;DR: OTL
So it begins
Gonna get my BLS and First Aid License at the Philippine National Red Cross! Just gotta survive the week-long training. \@w@/
OTL
Sometimes, I wish the pain was physical; then maybe I could just pop a pill and it’ll be over. This is like a disease that I wish never existed.
Maybe someday I’ll learn.
I should get to my commissions.
For now, here’s what I’ve got:
Pending Commissions:
- Jean - Chibis
- Kai -
Art trades:
- Julia
- Grim
+A+ I NEED TO SAVE UP MONEY TO LEAVE THIS COUNTRY EVEN IF IT’S THE LAST THING I DO. /shot
So far, I have 5 USD. >_> /LAME
Don’t you just hate it when…?
… you already are offering yourself to solve a problem and people start wringing your neck and yelling at your ears to “WTF DO I DO?”. Guys; chill. I got this.
Basically, the thing I loathe the most about work is when people are yelling at your ears about something that you pretty much have little to nil knowledge about.
Like for example, a group needs to do a certain Diorama project for school and they are required to do a certain sketch. Person A volunteers to do the sketch.
Of course, said person does the sketch and informs the group leader that she passed the said sketch for the sake of just being able to pass and so they will just refine whatever they need to get done. Things were clear. An unspoken contract was made.
All that had to be done was basically set to be after a certain date due to difficulties with time and finances.
Then everything goes for the worst from here on.
dorked asked: Merry Christmas Mari~! ; v; <3
Merry Christmas, Feropi. <3 Hope you had a wonderful Holiday!
10/6/2010 - Link
Charts and Notes: What is Nursing?
Sometimes, I wonder - throughout all the stresses of work in the hospital and the academe, do some nurses even think of the feelings of others?
Their patients?
Their students?
Right now, I’m slightly convinced that some are too into keeping their names “clean” at the cost of others. What…
At age 8, your dad buys you an ice cream. You thanked him by dripping it all over his lap. When you were 9 years old, he paid for piano lessons. You thanked him by never even bothering to practice. When you were 10 years old he drove you all day, from soccer to football to one birthday party after another. You thanked him by jumping out of the car and never looking back. When you were 11 years old, he took you and your friends to the movies. You thanked him by asking to sit in a different row. When you were 12 years old, he warned you not to watch certain TV shows. You thanked him by waiting until he left the house. When you were 13, he suggested a haircut that was in fashion. You thanked him by telling him he had no taste. When you were 14, he paid for a month away at summer camp. You thanked him by forgetting to write a single letter. When you were 15, he came home from work, looking for a hug. You thanked him by having your bedroom door locked. When you were 16, he taught you how to drive his car. You thanked him by taking it every chance you could. When you were 17, he was expecting an important call. You thanked him by being on the phone all night. When you were 18, he cried at your high school graduation. You thanked him by staying out partying until dawn. When you were 19, he paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus carried your bags. You thanked him by saying good-bye outside the dorm so you wouldn’t be embarrassed in front of your friends. When you were 25, he helped to pay for your wedding, and he told you how deep he loved you. You thanked him by moving halfway across the country. When you were 50, he fell ill and needed you to take care of him . You thanked him by reading about the burden parents become to their children. And then, one day, he quietly died. And everything you never did came crashing down like thunder on YOUR HEART. If you love your dad, reblog.
(via jaesicaariel, adaisyintherain)
DADDY!!!!! I miss you!!!!! Be healthy!
… I cried. ;;
Baw. Dad, Happy birthday. :) Though we never experienced almost all of these things, we’ve been through together a lot. I know you would’ve wanted us to have a better, more normal childhood but this is what was given to us so thanks for keeping me and my sisters sane all throughout.
I love you. Stay healthy. :)
9/30/2010 - Video
Tyler Clementi. Billy Lucas. Asher Brown. Seth Walsh. They’ve all killed themselves this month due to homophobic bullying and harassment in their places of learning.
How is this okay? This is not okay! This is four young men, children, human beings who ended their own lives because of other’s treatment of them. Fuck knows how many more deaths haven’t got media attention, fuck knows how many kids suffer in silence because their parents wouldn’t want to acknowledge they were gay. this is not okay. how the fuck can you people sit at your computers and pass over this shit without losing your fucking mind? apathy is killing these kids! how can you not be screaming down the phone at your state representatives, at the schools, at the parents? i can’t just sit here. i can’t. but i can’t do everything, i’m thousands of miles across the sea. all i can do is send e-mails and push others to get angry and join futile tribute fb pages out of sheer desperation to help. how the fuck are you reading these stories and going back to your lives? how are you sleeping at night? someone please tell me, because i can’t. these are your children! your friends! classmates! your kid’s future friends, your future workmates, future teachers and doctors and celebrities, artists and lovers and emergency service personnel. and you’d rather talk about glee and lady gaga’s outfits and other gay issues. they’re important but they’re nothing compared to this. this needs to stop! schools should be safe for kids! don’t you understand? these children are tying ropes around their neck and asphyxiating themselves until they die, they’re shooting themselves in the brain, they’re throwing themselves hundreds of feet to their deaths rather than face another day of being beaten up, or called faggot, fag, gay, homo, fruit, of being dehumanised. how can you think you can’t help, how can you not be fucking desperate to change this fucked up culture in any way you possibly can? how can you not hold anyone accountable. how can you call it “sad” and move on? how can you think a ‘reblog if you care’ is enough? it is not fucking enough! do something! i can’t fucking move on from this. i can’treblog this. it literally takes two seconds. now.
The world has to realize that they can’t get away with discriminating EVERYTHING. :/
I can relate to this so badly because I was a victim of bullying once. Suffered for years.
Guys, Reblog this. Just do it.
Why do I…
… look forward to getting sick, yet at the same time abhor it?
I don’t hate it for the pain, but rather I hate it for the fact that it comes right when finals is only a few weeks away, and our grand case presentation is due the next week.
My hate for the timing aside, I guess it’s safe to say that I am more or less ok with getting sick - in fact, I’m a weirdo who kinda has an urge to want to experience being hospitalized at least once.
Why?
Think about it this way; experience is the best teacher. I’m not saying that we should all be willing to get sick; I’m saying that as a medical professional-to-be, I figured there should be no reason for me to not want to be hospitalized.
I figured it would be nice to experience a nurse’s care from a patient’s perspective; maybe to know first hand what patients experience when we care for them and maybe improve our own caregiving skills. o.o
Just a random idea. Which may or not make sense, but how I think; kind of.
